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Bean Burgers....whaddya think would happen!?!

8/3/2015

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I feel like i should have been wearing this on a tshirt after my experiment with bean burgers this week. I dont know why I was that suprised, A, I am a naturally toottastic person, and B, beans, beans they make you toot. So putting those two scientific facts together, there was going to be some trouble in the air. 
Before I get into that, I have decided to keep blogging for a bit, not really for any other reason but it keeps me honest and on track with my workouts. I feel like if I dont have to report it, even if no one is reading it, then i will start to slack off. So onward with the blogs. 
So this week went something like this:
Monday + Tuesday: off ( was pretty stiff from the Triathlon)
Wednesday: 1x1500m swim
Thursday: 1x1500m swim
Friday: 1x1500m swim + 5km run
Saturday: 5.5mile run ( felt good so kept going)
Sunday: 13mile bike ride + about 500-600m open ocean swimming
Now I have been reluctant in the past to get in on this hippy wave of foodness that has developed over the last number of years, but have tried a few things and have to admit that i have been pleasantly suprised. Quinoa is still a challenge to not imagine chewing fish tank gravel while eating it, but so goes the battle.
I threw out a request on facebook over the last week to give some suggestions on a black bean burger recipe for the ages. I was very suprised at the many posts, links sent in with various versions on the black bean burger.
It was hard to pick which one to try, most called for various spices that I knew would not fly with my family, so I kind of did my own thing following the basic pattern that was emerging with all the recipes. So I went with:
1 can of black beans ( rinsed)
1 cup of bread crumbs
1 egg
1/2 cup of grated onion
and a splash of chilli powder, garlic powder, paprika, salt and pepper.
So the first mistake I made was not mashing the beans before i added the breadcrumbs. Oopsie.
This made for an annoying time of trying to mash the beans and breadcumbs at the same time. After going at them with a fork for about 5 minutes, I got fed up and just started mashing by hand. One significantly smooshed, i added all the other ingredients and continued smooshing.
Once i had everything mixed i started to form the patties.
So second mistake, instead of making 8 patties as the recipe said I should have, I made 4. I think I was thinking about how much beef burgers shrink when you grill them and didnt want the bean burgers to end up a shadow, whispy patty, so i made them thick. 
I heated up a pan with some olive oil and butter. Once heated, into the pan they went.
Cooking was fairly quick, i did cover them so that they would heat through faster. Flip to the other side for about 7 min on either side, then a slab of cheddar and cover for a few more minutes so the cheese got melty.
Now one recipe called for a mayo/ketchup mix and lettuce. So we kept the condiments simple, and for fun used english muffins for the bun. Gosh do we know how to party or what!
Mistake number three - I am sure with regular size 1/8th patties that would have been a good suggestion, but with these monsters you needed some condiments, the english muffins, while toasty, soaked up the mayo/ketchup mix like a sponge and so the burger was pretty dry. 
It did have a good flavor, I would give them a 5 out of 10.
Changes I am going to make for the next time:
Thiner patties; more condiments and toppings, regular burger bun, cooked rice or couscous for added moisture and texture.
Lastly i will make them on an evening that I dont plan to do anything and we can have windows open for ventilation. 
As previously discussed, I am a gassy dude, thus why I will never do a yoga class, but I was on a different level after having one of these bean burger fellas. Again, not sure why I was so suprised, but wow. 
The upside, I did get my comfy chair and free reign of the tv for the night as family members and pets avoided me and my bean burger cloud of death. 
Might have to keep a few of these around as a threat if the kids are misbehaving. #silentbutdeadly #olfactorypunishments 
Anyway, to those that are going to try these burgers, if you are the gassy sort, they have about a two hour shelf life until the demon breezes want to escape. You have been warned. May baby jebus have mercy on your soul.
Sean "BigBoyRunning" Ryan


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