Some days you feel like the little welder girl that spun and spun into those stuffed shirts hearts, and some days you feel like the hunk of rusted metal being lit on fire and reattached to another piece of broken rusted metal. Okay that seems pretty bleak. 
Luckily last week was more little welder girl spinning into hearts that it was broken rusted metal.
So it has been an absolute grind to get back to my form in regards to workouts. I have def had some struggles getting to workouts and have not really had the enthusiasm for them while in the midst of the huffing, puffing and sweaty humaness of it all.
But last week, last week some hope returned.
The week went like this:
Monday: 1500m swim
Tuesday: 10mile bike
Wednesday: 2mile run + 10mile ride
Thursday: 1500m swim
Friday: off
Saturday: 2.5mile run + weights
Sunday: 4.75mile run + weights
I have decided I really want to do an Olympic distance triathlon next year. I think i need to shock my system and for something so crazy that I wont be able to give up on myself.
Something that will hopefully keep me goal focused enough to keep me on the right track. 
So the distances for an Olympic distance are:
1500m swim
40km ride
10km run
Right now, I can do the swim, on its own, for sure. But that is it.
Having said that, I decided to try a longer distance on the treadmill this Sunday, and aside from feeling a little tight afterwards, felt awesome to know that I could get through a longer run, even if it was on a treadmill. So with this new found feeling, I am going to go back to working on my running. So with that I need to get a handle on my weight. Yup here we go again. 
I am going to try a vegetarian protein powder meal replacement that friend of the show, Rob, recommended.
I tried a couple of the flavours and as with everything else chocolate was far superior to vanilla. The day I tried it, i used room temperature water to mix the powder and thought I was going to hurl. It tasted like vanilla chalk with some chunks of cardboard thrown in for taste. I couldnt get through a whole portion, and put the rest in the fridge to try the next day.
It went much better the next day with it being cold. 
The chocolate one the next day was better. And it actually worked and I wasnt hungry all day. So I will be jumping on board that train for a while.
I am also going to be trying a pre workout powder that is supposed to energize you, we will see if it has more power then my pillow, blanket and starting to be cool end of summer early morning breeze. Im guessing, that is going to be a no haha, but we will see.
So yeah, not a bad week, we will see what the next couple weeks are like with it being the busiest time of year for me at work, unfortunately this lasts for 8 months haha.
Lastly - dick move of the week!
So I am sharing a lane with another swimmer, we are the only lane with 2 people in it in the whole pool. I am coming back from a length down to the deep end, about 3/4 of the way to the wall, when I see a body move into my side view. I narrowly miss punching him in the face and stand up in the pool. Buddy keeps on swimming.
He got into our lane and started to cut down the middle of it. 
WTF?
There are 5 other lanes with only 1 person in it, why are you swimming in a lane that already has 2 other people I blurt out.
He keeps swimming. So i wait for him at the wall. Getting more and more annoyed.
He eventually makes his way back, and I stop him.
Hey, bud, why did you jump in this lane when there are other lanes with only one other swimmer?
This lane is wide so it can take 3 swimmers, and it has a ladder. He starts to swim again.
I stand there like a moron. Not quite sure what to say to this logic. What does it matter that it can take 3, the other lanes can take 2 and be way less - get a hand in the face - then a 3 person lane. AND THERE IS ANOTHER LANE WITH A LADDER IN IT AND IT HAS ONE PERSON!
So I stood there until he came back again, but he grabbed the wall at the other end and start doing fake pool exercise.
Holy Fuck. 
Not wanting to start a fist fight, I jumped in another lane, asking permission of the fella already swimming there if it was okay, LIKE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO, and began swimming again. Every time I swam past the other guy and I was breathing I would say 'Dick' as i passed him in the opposite direction.
After about 10 passes, he got out of the pool. Hope it was something I said.
Why, dear Jebus, is this lane etiquette so hard for people to figure out?
Just Keep Swimming
Sean "BigBoyRunning" Ryan
​

Photo Cred: Tessa Burns
Okay, here it is. This week, month, year has sucked for me musically. All the issues with ACDC, Prince dying, and the Hip calling it a career this week because of Gord's brain cancer. 
CBC is of course airing their last concert as i am sure everyone in Canada knows, I just dont know if I can watch it.
Never in my wildest did I A. think there would not be a time the Hip wasnt going to tour again; and 2. that I would ever be this worked up over a band ending their career.
I think this triple kill of my fav music bands has added to my sense of sadness, but this is truly the last straw. 
I also know that people are getting together and having parties to watch the last show, but I somehow cant get up for that. If anyone has ever had a family member with a terminal illness, and had to watch them suffer, battle, but knowing the inevitable the whole time, going on pretending that everything is fine, this is the turmoil I am feeling right now.
I first remember hearing the Hip in highschool, like most Canadians I am sure. But this was music from their EP 'The Tragically Hip'. I was in a very metal phase at the time and their music was championed by the idie popped collar douche bags at my highschool so I wasnt really interested. I remember actually getting into a verbal altercation around music choices with some of the douchyest at the time, it ended with some adolescent fisticuffs, but when you identify with your music choices, thats what it takes sometimes. 
Once 'Up to Here' was released, I was in a bit more of a music exploration phase. I was also looking to identify with more Canadian music and was hooked from the opening of 'Blow at High Dough' and a lifelong fan by the end of '38 years old'. There have been many albums since, there are songs from other albums that I would say are better musically, but have a listen through this album again, there is not one bad cut.
I have to admit to loosing track of them for ' Road Apples', there was some personal upheaval with parents divorcing and a move from Ontario to Nova Scotia. During this time, I was struggling to find anything musically to identify with, because high school in Nova Scotia was waaaaaaaaaay different then Ontario. I remember the first dance I went to the DJ played a mix of 70s rock and county music. *sigh* They also danced in a big line down the center of the gym, but that's for another day.
Once I slipped into University years, the Hip was back in my life again. We are moving into 'Fully Completely' and 'Day for Night' at this point. This is prime time Hip. Their career was going more mainstream and the hits were fast and furious. You couldnt go to any party, gathering, study group and not hear a track of ' Courage' ; ' Fifty Mission Cap' ' Hundredth Meridian' etc. etc. etc. 
I remember stalking around campus in my grunge phase, with my WWE Undertaker hair and trench coat, blasting these albums through the spongy headphones of my disc man ( CD's were a form of music delivery system for all you younger readers).
9/10 times you would hear drunken off key belts of many Hip choruses out any given residence window. What a time to be alive.
As I graduated and took my talents to school in England, ' Trouble at the Hen House' was released.
One of my best Hip memories happens now.
It was May, I had been in England for five months straight, I was a month or so away from moving home, and was really getting home sick. Low and behold, Time Out had a big double page spread that it was Canadian Music Week! Great Big Sea did their first show outside of Canada at a goth club in downtown London. I dragged about 10 non-Canadians to this show. Every NewFoundLander and Cape Bretoner within a 100 mile radius was dancing and jigging up a storm while hard core goths, scared as fuck, huddled in the darkness waiting to get their club back. Beauty. Next night Headstones, next night 54-40. Boys from the band actually had beers with us afterward.
Last night the Tragically Hip.
It was in a 1500 seat theatre, by the time I got to get tickets, the ticket seller lady lamented that there was only cheap seats left. Fuck. Okay whatever. Give me 10. They were 15 pounds each about 30$ Canadian at the time, and I was determined to get some of my international friends to this show. I had been calling them the Canadian Beatles to get their attention.
As she passed me the tickets, i read General Admission - Floor.
Um what now?
I said excuse me, but are these floor tickets?
Yes its all we have left, no seats Im afraid. 
So like floor like near the front of the stage?
Yes, no chairs Im afraid.
NO PROBLEM, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
She started to laugh and explained a few other Canadians had the same reaction and then shook her head - i like to think and muttered crazy Canadian fuckers under her breath - but cant be sure.
So a couple of pre drinks and we were there, it was magical. One of my American friends remarked how polite the front of the stage was. No one was pushing, if they did, they apologized and then made room for me. 
There was every provincial flag there, I met so many Canadians that night, all of us with tears in our eyes watching this band play, screaming the words, high fiving Gord as he danced, rapped, and just did his Gord thing. It was the best live Hip experience of my life.
I never felt so much pride for this band and my country, everyone that I took to that concert talked about it for weeks, I left the concert sweaty, with no voice and contentment in my heart.
From 'Phantom Power' on through the rest of the discography there have been key moments in my life that I associate with Hip songs.
The funniest one, is our first wedding dance. We had planned like a billion other newly weds to have their first dance to 'The Way you Look Tonight' but the DJ misplaced the CD and we were in a panic so I asked do you have any Hip? Yeah the DJ said with a puzzled expression. Put on 'Wheat Kings' then!
But the song is about....
I know, i know, but I cant think of anything else...DO IT!
So our first dance as man and wife is to ' Wheat Kings' a song about a guy getting put in jail and wrongly accused. Hilarious, but not many people at the wedding knew what the lyrics were.
While life moved on for me, as it did for the Hip, more albums, some softer in tone, but still reflective of their lives, the Canadian landscape, and their musical style.
They never sacrificed their music for the American market. They have shows in the US, were on Saturday Night Live at the request of Dan Aykroyd but even then they didnt jump into their hit of the day, they played what they wanted to play.  I have always respected that.
Then the news broke. Shock and Awe amidst an already awful news music year. The no tour of the Atlantic, I was disappointed but could totally understand. Then 'In a World Possessed By the Human Mind' comes out. Completely gutted after I listened to this song.

Just give me the news
It can all be lies
Exciting over fair or the right thing at the right time
Everything is clear
Just how you described
The way it appears, "A world possessed by the human mind"

Then I think I smiled
Then I think you said, "it's fine"
And quietly I dressed, in a world completely possessed by the human mind

We're in awe of no one
We've none of their fear
Fighting's goin' nowhere and we stay right here
Where everything is quiet
A little super dangerous
"In the shadow of the law and with colours of justice"

Then I hope I smiled
Then I'm sure you said, "It's fine"
They got no interest in a world completely possessed by the human mind

Everything is quiet
A little super dangerous
Quiet enough to hear God rustlin' around in the bushes
Oh, but it was you
Girl, I was so afraid
You said, "You shoulda seen the look on your face"

Then I hope I laughed
Then I hope I said, "it's fine"
And quietly undressed in a world completely possessed by the human mind

Oh it was you
Girl, I was so afraid
You said, "You shoulda seen the look on your face"

I know it wasnt written during his illness, but holy fuck, how can you not see these lyrics and feel the absolute ups and downs of what Gord must be going through.
I had to take it off my playlist when we did our family roadtrip to the US. Everytime it came on I would start to tear up, and TheBoy would quietly advance the song for me. 
On the up side, I have had the chance to start his music education. When we are in the car now, he is searching out Hip songs on my ipod without me asking. He is starting to enjoy the rock, whimsy, and imagery that only Hip songs can provide. He loves to shout "You said you didnt give a FUCK about hockey" when we are driving. There is usually a quick nervous look my way, but I sing right along with him.
So I guess that is some solace. I get to experience the Hip again with him and BabyGirl ( who was also gutted on the ACDC debacle, as she is quite the little Thunderstruck fan).
God bless you Gord, and thank you Tragically Hip, for being there for some pretty great moments in my life, for being Canadian, and going out the way you want too.
Sean "BigBoyRunning" Ryan

Hey yeah so how about that summer?!?
Why does it feel like every summer, my blog is more like a confessional then an empowering juggernaut of awesomnicity? Okay it has never been that, but I have pretty much completely fallen off the rails in regards to workouts over the last month. I was doing really well until mid to late July, but having a couple weeks vacation and almost no desire to keep up with my work out schedule I have had a wake up call last week and heading into this week as I start to get back into things. I can honestly say watching the Olympics have helped me want to get back at it. I know, I know, the Olympics are an evil corporation, relegating hosting country national issues to the background as not to smudge its world pleasing marketing image, but when you get to hear the stories of some of the athletes, Canadian or otherwise you start to get a little pumped up.
As for the weeks that I have missed, i honestly dont regret it at all. In life you sometimes only get one shot to do things right, and having my niece and nephew visit Canada for the first time, meeting us and their cousins, work outs needed to and were dropped down the priority list for those weeks. 
The photo above is a shot from the cottage we rented for a week in Grand Pre. It was amazing. You never know quite what to expect when you get "great ideas" like jamming two families together for a week that have never really met, with some minor language barriers, age gaps and some random little dude that is along for the ride. ( My brother brought one of his students along for the trip also.) 
Aside from one day that it rained we really couldnt have asked for better weather. We had the chance to get reconnect with some family and friends also, which was a real blessing. That week was def the highlight for the summer for me. All the little people got along, and so did the big people, with little to no mishaps.
In regards to workouts, well, I think I have been discouraged after such a poor showing from the Canada day events. Happy that I completely my goals, and got to do it along side my friend Dave, but shocked I guess at how badly my run went and how sore I was in the swim.  This visit also coincided with the triathlon I wanted to do this summer, so I didnt really get the chance to do another one, so once I figured that out, my training really fell off.
Have had some time to think about everything and am about 90% of the way there to committing to doing an Olympic distance triathlon next summer. 
I have always talked about it, but I am not getting any younger, so i should really shit or get off the pot.  I have started looking into training options, am still struggling with diet side, vegetarian may not be the thing for me so it might be back to the drawing board on that.
Going to spend the next couple of weeks looking at what I would have to do to get ready for one and then start setting my goals.
I am half thinking a coach may be in order or at the very least a training partner. With my new dadtaxi schedule I am struggling now with getting my workouts in, not sure how it will go if I need to start increasing time because of the distance increases.
That is going to be it for this week, in regards to work outs:
Monday: 40min swim + Angus cardio work out
Tuesday: off
Wednesday: 30min swim + 40min run
Thursday: 40min swim + 40 minute bike
Friday: off
Saturday: 2.5mile run + 10mile ride
Sunday: off
So not super standout in regards to distances or times, but starting to get back at it slowly; another added bonus, the boy wants to get back to the gym with me a couple times a week. I havent pushed for it so it was nice to have him come to me and want to start working out again. Its great to have him come with me a couple times a week!!
Sean "BigBoyRunning" Ryan