Now sometimes, not often, but sometimes the door to the pool is locked. Typically when there is nothing on in the pool before the lane swim, and the guards need some time to set up the lanes. No biggie. So i wait in the hallway with two other swimmers until the door opens and we are released into the pool area to find our lanes.
The other two are idly chatting, no one is talking to me so perfect!
One person, in a board shorts (JFDW) and the other person are back and forthing about American politics and local area barbs with all the pomp and self righteousness that only comes from years of entitlement. Now, far be it from me to assess what aspect of life these two come from in our community, but I'm sure you can guess where I am going with this.
So the lock clicks and we are away, set free into the six lane'd wonder that is the aquatic center pool.
Now, as anyone that swims would tell you, and perhaps I have also alluded to before in a blog post or two there is swimming etiquette that should be taught to those that have not spent a lifetime at pool lane swims. Some people have it and some dont.
One major component is the "picking your lane" ritual.
Now for me, I dont like to run in and jump in the pool straight away. I walk to the lane I plan on using or at least the side of the lane when splitting it with another swimmer, and i put down my goggles, cap, and any other gear I might be using. I then walk to the bench, hang up my towel and kit bag and put my ear plugs in.
Today was no different. Another swimmer did the same thing, indicating they were going to split the lane with me. Great, no problem.
What are those two doing.....they.....are they.....they are getting in my lane. Holy crap. Did that guy just kick my goggles and cap in the pool.
Yup that is what happened.
So I pop my ear plugs out, and walk over, ' Hey, excuse me, but i had my stuff here, I was planning on swimming in this lane and so did she'
'HEY, YO, BUB'
A snotty head turn in my direction.
'I dont know if you noticed but I had my stuff here on the deck and was going to swim in this lane. I notice my stuff isnt here anymore, did you kick it in the pool?'
It must have fell in.
(wholly fuck) 'Its right there on the bottom by your feet, can you pass it to me please.
(sigh) and he grabs it and flips it on the deck.
'So are you going to move lanes?'
Look, there is enough room for everyone okay, so just swim over there.
'Oh really, oh okay.'
What a jerkface dickweasel.
So my former lane mate, gives me a 'good luck' kind of look and moves to the only other free half of a lane.
I slip into the middle of the lane. As I am getting my cap and googles on I notice that jerkface doesnt have any googles on.
So I start to swim, I am swimming angry.
So everytime I get near jerkface I kick as hard as I can, so that he is getting a face blast of pool water in his jerkface face.
We go like this for about 20 minutes, I time is to I am lapping him just before a wall so I can get maximum amount of splash.
Yes Im 5.
After about 25min jerkface is out of the pool and heading for the change room. I immediately go back to low splash kicking.
After I was finished, my almost lane partner and their current lane mate stopped at the wall, and were laughing and giggling. They said they have seen me swim before and were wondering what I was doing with my kicking today with all the high splashes. They figured it out when jerkface would stop after I would pass him each time and mutter something to himself before starting again.
They also said he has pulled that lane grab thing a few times and it was nice to see his swim disrupted like he had disrupted others in the past.
So yes, it was immature and passive, but I have absolutely no problem with that.
Week went like this:
Tuesday: 13mile bike + 1500m swim
Wednesday: 3mile run
Thursday: 2000m swim + 13mile bike
Friday: 2x750m swims
Saturday: 4mile run + 10 mile bike
Sunday: 5.5mile run
So for those of you that didnt know, well there is some pool lane etiquette for you, so that you arnt the jerkface dickweasel of your pool.
Sean "BigBoyRunning" Ryan