Ok. It was me. I Farted at the gym. It was loud. I was suprised. I did not expect it to happen, but I am getting older, and my internal security management let one escape the compound.
This was a worse case situation for me.
In the past I have gone hours holding onto a #demonbreeze, suffered incredible stomach pain keeping in a tooter, I could clench cheek with the best of them, and rarely in my 40+ plus years did a duck mistakenly quack. A bear mistakenly growl, or a fart ghost free to howl, you get the picture. I would rather fall off 100 treadmills and suffer that embarrassment then fart in public. Im strange. I know.
I had just gotten off the bike and i was shaking out my legs before hitting the tread mill, and on the second leg shake, i shook loose a honker. Even with my ear phones on i could hear it. I quickly turned to make sure that no one was in the general direction to which i farted because i would never purposely fart in someone's general direction in less i was atop a battlement and speaking with a french accent.
There was on one behind me, but there were 2 other people on the bikes, one older and one younger rider. Both had headphones on, and if they had heard it were not indicating they had. I quickly moved to the paper towel station so i could wipe down my bike and get the hell out of there.
As i did the fitness studio emptied of sweaty Zumba enthusiasts, all enthusiastically chatting about the session they just survived.
Cowardly I hung close to the paper towel station, knowing that they were unsuspectingly going to walk through a fart cloud of evil.
Timing is everything in this world.
At the moment that the zumba crowd hit the fart cloud of terror, the creeping mists of hate also hit the two bikers, both turned and looked at each other with revulsion and disgust. The zumbaists moving quicker so the cloud would not permanently attach itself to the breathable fabrics and the bikes peddling like mad to get away from or at least move the air currents around to dilute the poison filled air.
I caught eyes with one of the zumbaites and mutually did a ' some people eh?' headshake in reference to the bike people.
I caught the end of the parade of zumbatonians and headed off in shame to the treadmills.
Moral of the story, do not eat donairs at any time during the week while working out OR always time your gas releases while you have someone else to blame in front of large groups of zumba enthusiasts.
The rest of the week went something like this:
Monday: off
Tuesday: 2500m swim
Wednesday: 18 mile bike ride
Thursday: 5km run
Friday: 250m warm up + 2x750m swims ( both below 16 minutes)
Saturday: 6.5 km run + 20k bike ride
Sunday: Mothers Day
My Epic swim partner is going to be in town this week so really pumped to do a pool session with him and start looking at how we will pace out the 5000m swim at Epic Dartmouth at the end of June.
Luckily you cant smell squeekers underwater hehe.
Sean "BigBoyRunning" Ryan
This was a worse case situation for me.
In the past I have gone hours holding onto a #demonbreeze, suffered incredible stomach pain keeping in a tooter, I could clench cheek with the best of them, and rarely in my 40+ plus years did a duck mistakenly quack. A bear mistakenly growl, or a fart ghost free to howl, you get the picture. I would rather fall off 100 treadmills and suffer that embarrassment then fart in public. Im strange. I know.
I had just gotten off the bike and i was shaking out my legs before hitting the tread mill, and on the second leg shake, i shook loose a honker. Even with my ear phones on i could hear it. I quickly turned to make sure that no one was in the general direction to which i farted because i would never purposely fart in someone's general direction in less i was atop a battlement and speaking with a french accent.
There was on one behind me, but there were 2 other people on the bikes, one older and one younger rider. Both had headphones on, and if they had heard it were not indicating they had. I quickly moved to the paper towel station so i could wipe down my bike and get the hell out of there.
As i did the fitness studio emptied of sweaty Zumba enthusiasts, all enthusiastically chatting about the session they just survived.
Cowardly I hung close to the paper towel station, knowing that they were unsuspectingly going to walk through a fart cloud of evil.
Timing is everything in this world.
At the moment that the zumba crowd hit the fart cloud of terror, the creeping mists of hate also hit the two bikers, both turned and looked at each other with revulsion and disgust. The zumbaists moving quicker so the cloud would not permanently attach itself to the breathable fabrics and the bikes peddling like mad to get away from or at least move the air currents around to dilute the poison filled air.
I caught eyes with one of the zumbaites and mutually did a ' some people eh?' headshake in reference to the bike people.
I caught the end of the parade of zumbatonians and headed off in shame to the treadmills.
Moral of the story, do not eat donairs at any time during the week while working out OR always time your gas releases while you have someone else to blame in front of large groups of zumba enthusiasts.
The rest of the week went something like this:
Monday: off
Tuesday: 2500m swim
Wednesday: 18 mile bike ride
Thursday: 5km run
Friday: 250m warm up + 2x750m swims ( both below 16 minutes)
Saturday: 6.5 km run + 20k bike ride
Sunday: Mothers Day
My Epic swim partner is going to be in town this week so really pumped to do a pool session with him and start looking at how we will pace out the 5000m swim at Epic Dartmouth at the end of June.
Luckily you cant smell squeekers underwater hehe.
Sean "BigBoyRunning" Ryan
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