Really up and down feelings lately. I struggle with what most people do I think when they are bigger.
I feel like I am doing really well with the physical activity side of things but hard fail with the food. I am not sure what is going to get me out of my mindset when it comes to food, but I absolutely have to figure something out. Having just got back from one conference and getting ready to head to another, knowing what my lack of eating standards were like on the last one, i am trying to be hopeful for this upcoming one.
For a long time have been under two false impressions.
1. If I work out and have a good day, I can basically eat what I want after that point for that day and maybe the next. This is such a sucker way of thinking I cant believe I let myself fall in this trap for so long. Using myfitnesspal constantly reminds me of this, but more then that all i need to do is look down and i can see the negative effects of this thinking.
2. That i have no control around food. I need to change this thinking. It is so easy to fall into this when things are not going well, when your brain is screaming at you at 2am saying hey, there is a bag of chips or leftovers in the fridge that would make you feel better about life for about 20min if you go and eat them. I have had this behaviour for a long time and I need to start to do something about it. I am not sure what that is yet, but I think it has to something with being a bit more present before i just put something in my mouth. I think a key to that is starting to check my sugars again on a consistent and daily basis.
That is really the key, I know what they will be like after I have carbed out or eaten some thing I should not so I avoid checking because I know what it will say. But i have gotten so far away from it I think I am landing in that unhealthy bad place again that someone with diabetes should actively avoid.
So starting this week I am going to update my meter and get back to checking my sugars multiple times a day.
In terms of the workouts, the last three weeks were not awful.
I have been hitting 3 swims of 1km -2km consistently and 5-8km rums three times a week.
So while the food side is in pretty dire straights the exercise side is okay.
As I am now technically mid-forties, i need to get back to my late 30's self in terms of ruthless determination for both food management and health. Those 2 years were my best, because I was able to balance the weight, activity and food pieces of my life. Time to rewind and really get back on track.
Sean "BigBoyRunning" Ryan